We all want to live life optimally.
Suffering is a natural, ‘negative’ aspect of life.
And suffering itself can be handled with care and intention. It can be mitigated, minimized, and re-contextualized.
Suffering, in its many forms, is a psychological phenomenon which we can ultimately influence.
Suffering is a natural, ‘negative’ aspect of life.
And suffering itself can be handled with care and intention. It can be mitigated, minimized, and re-contextualized.
Suffering, in its many forms, is a psychological phenomenon which we can ultimately influence.
Note that suffering can be a teacher, and a valuable one. Resisting the lessons brought by suffering often creates louder, more frequent lessons. Suffering can also offer us a contextualizing of Joy.
What Do I Cultivate? What do I Keep in Check?
It is worth noting how we humans have a strange tendency towards dichotomous thinking, and it can be troublesome when applied to relating to other people.
However, for the sake of simplicity, we have created this page as a generalized guide.
Think of the page below as a map with two big categories:
‘Practice these for more freedom from suffering’ vs. ‘Avoid these to avoid suffering’
These ‘Antidotes’ and ‘Poisons’ will be helpful on your journey.
Click the points that are links to learn more, and enjoy a life of more Joy, and less suffering.
Antidotes
Actions in the Now
- Focusing on the Now
- Breathing
- Mindfulness / Meditation
- Two feelings at same time ∞
- Broadening / Listing ∞
- Gratitude / Appreciation / Tonglen
- Let it Be ∞
- Up to Something ∞
Philosophical Frameworks
- Reactive and Creative Brain
- The Four Agreements
- Impeccable with word
- Don’t take it personally
- Don’t make assumptions
- Do your best
- The Noble 8-Fold Path
- NVC
“One-Step” Moves
- Asking for 100%
- Reflect, Reframe, Validate
- 5-word Empathy ∞
- No is the beginning
- Needs Shifting
- Miracle Questions to Self
- Positive Request
- Embody Fun/Play/Humor ∞
- Allowing, flowing with ∞
- I want to win, and I want you to win too ∞
Shift Moves (some)
- 100% Responsibility
- What am I not able to do that other people can do? ∞
- Recipe to get what you have ∞
- How did I get myself here? ∞
- How did I contribute to this situation? ∞
- How is this familiar? ∞
- How you are is how it is ∞
- I am the source of my Thoughts / Feelings / Actions
- F.A.C.T. ∞
- Feel feelings through to completion
- Your Storied Life
- Opposite of my story also true ∞
- Choose inspiring possibility ∞
- TheWork.com (Byron Katie)
- Get very curious – more here.
- Reveal / radical honesty / candor
- Right / Wrong are not interesting ideas anymore
- What am I learning from this experience? ∞
- Integrity – clear agreements / clean up broken ones
- Tell story to a very different person / from a different perspective ∞
- Talk to yourself from the perspective of 5 of your heroes ∞
Specific Meditations
Poisons
- Numbing
- Rackets
- Jackal: Raging; Storming; Stewing; Venting
- < 100% Responsibility
- Either/Or Thinking // If/Then thinking ∞
- Diagnosing, correcting, being certain (Antidote: NVC)
- Right/Wrong Thinking
- My story is true
- Really, this situation is very simple ∞
- Attachment (and Hungry Ghost)
- Focus on the Past ∞
- Fear (Fight / Flight / Flee /Faint)
- Should: more detail here
- Enemy Images (including of yourself)
- Four Horsemen (Contempt / Criticism / Stonewalling / Defensiveness)
- This is really serious (and possibly huge) ∞
- Dirty Communication
- Playing the “Make Each Other Wrong” game ∞
- Only 2 or 3 options really exist in this case ∞
- I’m not enough
- They are broken ∞
- This situation is unique or unlikely to happen again ∞
- Defend my identity / Ego (Antidotes: 100% Responsibility / YSL / Win for all)
- Resentment ∞ (the past) and fear (the future)
- Getting Overwhelmed, and then… ∞
- Attack the messenger
- Surrender / Counter-attack / Withdraw