#6: Any Joint Activity Which One Person Puts In More Effort Than Another


You stop to help a elderly driver whose car needs a push start. Similarly, a few more people offering to lend assistance have also gathered. With several of you present you think it will be easy to get the car back in action. However, their level of effort (a one-handed push from the side of the car) makes this task a difficult, and frustrating, one. You would like to suggest that everyone gets behind the car. How can you be clean in your communication?

Between Friends

You live with a room mate. You like living in clean and presentable accommodation so while your friend has cleaned the kitchen, you have cleaned the bathroom, the living room, the hall and the office. You want the work to be done quickly, and enjoy the rest of the weekend, but it seems that you put in so much more effort and time with this ‘shared’ task. How can you be clean in your communication?

Friendship Circle

You and several friends decide to organize a suprise party for someone close. There is a venue, drinks, food, a guest list, music and other various items to organize. You sense that the others in the group are happy to leave much of the workload to yourself. Perhaps you have given the impression that you don’t mind taking charge. This however is untrue, but are aware that in past experiences you have often filled the more dominant role. How can you be clean in your communication?

Marriage Partner

You decide it is time to move house. While you are both eager to get this in action quickly, it is you who takes the time during the day to call property agents and arrange valuations. It is you who scours the web, looking for a new home. While you are both excited about the move, it is becoming frustating that you appear to be doing most of the work. How can you be clean in your communication?

The Workplace

Whilst traveling you find yourself with a short-term job in a restaurant’s kitchen. You have always wished to improve your cooking, and the money is fairly good. Each day there are various group tasks; chopping vegetables, washing pots and a nightly clean. In the time a colleague has cut a potato, you have cut two. When she washes pots, it takes all afternoon. You take an hour! During the nightly clean, she often goes to the bathroom, while you do most of the work. You both earn the same, and it is frustrating. How can you be clean in your communication?

Church, Community, Volunteer Organization

You are helping a local charity clear a house, with the items collected being taken to its thrift store. There is a lot to remove, and it is going to take a few hours to empty. You realize it’s going to take even longer when the other removal people are not working as fast as you. Further, they like to stop frequently for a break and coffee. You don’t think it’s fair that you are working harder than them, and would like to finish as quickly as possible. How can you be clean in your communication?

Another Example

There is a plethora of other examples to go inside this category; working on a group project at school, living with room mates, projects at work, tasks with a partner, etc. Life is full of joint activities and one has to be concious of the stories they create.