#5: People Not Being Honest And Telling Someone What is Bothering Them (aka Stewing, Bitching)


You have begun a conversation with a stranger on a train. As they are talking they fill the sentences with various swear words. This is something you really don’t enjoy hearing, and while enjoying the conversation you would prefer these words were omitted. How can you be clean in your communication?

Between Friends

You and your friend are often in the car together. You share lifts on the way to work. However, while you are very careful to adhere to the speed limit (it is safe, after all) your friend is less law abiding. S/he, instead, is quite happy and still feels in control when they exceed the limit. You feel scared in the car. How can you be clean in your communication?

Friendship Circle

You live with friends. Whenever one of your friends does the washing up they leave a mess in the sink (you know… those little pieces of food that never go down the drain). The rest of your friends have noticed this, and are becoming frustrated at having to clean up after the original person completes this chore. Further, their cleaning is not always resulting in clean pots. How can you be clean in your communication?

Marriage Partner

There is a plethora of examples that could go within this section… think of some. Leaving things in unusual places around the house, wishing your partner would spend more time with you (or the children), the relationship your partner has with your in-laws, their level of optimism, kindness to strangers, speed they drive, alcohol consumption, etc etc! In all these examples,how can you be clean in your communication?

The Workplace

You work in an open-plan office. Regularly employees need to phone conference with colleagues in other locations. One particular employee in your team speaks extremely loudly. Whenever they are on the phone, is it hard for yourself, and others, to concentrate. Something needs to be said, but it appears no-one has the confidence to mention this issue. How can you be clean in your communication?

Church, Community, Volunteer Organization

You go to church mainly for the communal time, rather than for the religious benefit. However, recently services have been much more focused on the latter, and you wish that church services continued as they have always been. You enjoy being thankful for the community you live in, and wish to continue celebrating this element, rather than a strong belief in God. There are others who feel similar as well. How can you be clean in your communication?

Another Example

You have just moved in with friends. You don’t wish to cause tension, but are frustrated that they often leave lights on around the house when they don’t need to be on. You are concerned that this is a waste of energy, and increasing your electricity bills. At such an early stage in living together you are anxious about opening this discussion. How can you be clean in your communication with your house mates.