Sees themselves as ‘at the effect of people’ and can be helpless to the world around them. Everything is happening to them, rather than because of them. Little to no power.
Is all blame. It needs a single answer, and lacks any kind of curiosity or empathy. Something happened, and it’s somebody’s fault.
Finds temporary ways to fill the void and make the feels go away. Drifts and distractions are important in order to block what is actually present.
The 3 Antidotes
Luckily, there are some tricks to breaking this self-perpetuating drama triangle. Each persona has its own unique counter persona that may be of help in re-framing, reworking, and ending the cycle of unresolved drama.
The creator responds to problems by focusing on solutions. With thoughtful evaluation and choice/action towards a particular outcome, the creator breaks the loop of reactionary problem tunnel vision.
The Challenger encourages learning and taking next steps. Building up rather than putting down, the challenger is focused on growth as an opportunity and an invitation.
The Coach offers encouragement and support to Victims, preserving their autonomy and helping them create a vision. The coach is empowering and safe, not a rescuer.
The key to each of these antidotes is again power. Responsibility is sought after. It is encouraged in others. Breaking the cycle of the drama triangle, these counter personas seek to empower ourselves and others. They foster responsibility and creativity in facing problems at hand in a productive way.
Creators turn the Victim role’s false power into outcome-oriented power.
Challengers empower the Victim (or Creator) with truth, even if it’s painful to do so.
Coaches see Victims as Creators, enhancing their responsibility and ownership of a situation and focusing them on what they do want.
You can learn more about what it means to empower ourselves to the fullest by reading about another Freedom Enabler, 100% Responsibility:
And if you like, keep poking around within these pages on Clean Communication. You’ll find many enlightening resources on the Tools page, memorable musings in Meditations, and clarifying starting points in Clean Communication vs. Compassionate Communication: