Review of the Four Steps

Step 1: Take A Moment

~ What are you holding?

~ Who or what are you directing a lot of ‘negative’ attention to?

~ What past event revisits you in painful/traumatic ways?

Step 2: Own Your Emotion

~ What did you feel? What feeling arose from within you?

~ Invite your emotions to take up your full head and heart

~ Label and experience the depth of that feeling


Step 3: Reframe the Emotion

~ Notice that is your own feeling – dismiss external thoughts – focus on you!

~ Transform faux-feelings into genuine feelings – and feel into them.

~ Pause, and allow the experience to ripen – allow your emotion to wash over you.


Step 4: Forgive Your Choice

~ What were the other options in the moment?

~ How can you hold them with the same understanding of plausibility as you hold the emotion you chose?

~ Can you envision another person choosing differently? Can you imagine yourself choosing differently?

~ How would the person you would like to be have chosen in that moment?


Step 1: “S/He or It made me feel ____________, because”


Step 2: “I feel ______________”


Step 3: “I chose to feel _______________.”


Step 4: “I chose to feel ________, instead of ________, _________, or _______. And in owning that choice, I find peace with having made it, and understand my power in choosing differently  in the future. I release my attachment to that singular emotion, or how I “should” have felt – and I release that story of hurt. My past returns to its place – a memory, instead of a mandate.”