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Welcome!

You’re in the right place. In fact, you’ve found something quite special.

Forgiveness is a sharp and subtle skill, often misunderstood by culture, and deeper than many of us suspect.

So we’ve prepared a comprehensive manual on practicing forgiveness.

You may go to the Table of Contents at the bottom of this page, or download the entire Forgiveness Manual as a PDF for free!

Assess Your Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one of over 50 factors of well-being measured in the Assessment Center.
Measure this factor in your own life, and learn if it’s a Strength or a Growth Zone:
Forgiveness Assessment

Why Forgive?

So, why forgive others? This question is itself misleading; as we’ll see, this journey is not exactly about ‘forgiving’ others. First and foremost, this journey is about connecting with and better understanding ourselves. Forgiveness is a way of allowing ourselves to experience the moments of life in the fullest, pain and joy alike, without being trapped or hindered.

  • Forgiveness is hugely beneficial to our health
  • Not Forgiving is adverse to our health
  • Forgiveness Heals Relationships
  • Forgiveness Ends Conflicts
  • Forgiveness Frees Us

Forgiveness is not a gift that I give to someone else.

It is a gift that gives itself to me.

 

…Read the Full Article on “Why Forgive?”

Why Forgive?

What Forgiveness Is Not

Let’s address some myths about Forgiveness right here and now.

Reading this should already begin to alleviate you from the burdensome cultural ideologies imposed upon your practicing of Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is NOT…

  1. For another person
  2. Acceptance/Tolerance
  3. A leap of faith/trust in another’s good nature
  4. About restitution
  5. About forgetting
  6. Good enough if mostly done
  7. Necessarily involving apologies
  8. A guarantee to never feel that pain again
  9. Going to make you a better person
  10. To teach them a lesson

Forgiveness does NOT…

  1. Exclude hatred and anger
  2. Happen quickly at a single point in time
  3. Make you weak. Quite the opposite, in fact…
  4. Subvert justice
  5. Leave you vulnerable

Forgiveness IS…

  1. A process, a practice, and a way of being
  2. For you, and nobody else
  3. Difficult like exercising. You get stronger, and it pays off.

Surprised?

See all of these points Explained in detail here:

What Forgiveness is Not

Our Forgiveness Manual

Below you’ll be led to all of our pages on practicing Forgiveness. Think of it as an online manual which you can read through whenever you like.

Go through one page at a time, or even click to visit what section looks interesting to you.

A Path

Appendices
Pain is Normal The Many Frames of Forgiveness
Becoming the Person You Wish to Be Another Path to Forgive: 6 Steps
Why Forgive? Stories of Compassion
What Forgiveness is Not Tonglen and Grief
Step One: Take a Moment… The Spectrum of Pain and Healing
Step Two: Own Your Feeling Exercise in Tonglen
Growing the Forgiving Tree – Nourishment Two Wolves
Growing the Forgiving Tree – Poison Mourning and Trauma
Pause and Check Regret
Step Three: Reframing Anger in a Page
Foe Feelings and Should Detours, Dead-Ends and Derailers
Step Four: Forgiving Our Choice The Amygdala and the Prefrontal Cortex
The Four Steps – Review A Climate of Forgiveness
The Next Steps Walking Through Forgiveness
Compassion for the Other Quotes
Perpetual Forgiveness Reference and Further Knowledge

Or go ahead and start at the beginning!

Page one: Pain is NORMAL

Forgiveness Pain Is Normal Why Forgive? Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Foe Feelings & Should Step 4 Compassion & Perpetual Forgiveness Forgiveness Table of Contents References and Resources