Links
Attachment Theory in Relationships
Attachment Theory Specifically
- Your Attachment Style Influences the Success of Your Relationship [The Gottman Institute] – The quality of our early attachments profoundly influences our relationships later in life.
- Can You Cultivate a More Secure Attachment Style? [Greater Good] – If intimacy doesn’t come naturally to you, new research suggests ways to improve your romantic relationships.
- It’s Time to Face the Facts: Your Attachment Styles Don’t Fit [Relationships Love Happiness] – If you’re a person struggling to figure out why you’re not in a relationship, or why you haven’t been able to have a “successful” relationship, this article is for you.
- How Your Attachment Style Affects Your Relationship [Six Seconds] – A helpful general article on styles and relationships.
- How to Stop Attachment Insecurity from Ruining Your… [Greater Good] – Do you have commitment, trust, and attachment issues? Science helped Meghan Laslocky—and it just might help you, too.
- How Early Attachment Styles Can Influence Later Relationships [The Gottman Institute] – There are more layers and complexities to contemporary attachment theory.
- Being Well Podcast: How to Have Great Relationships – Attachment and the Self [Rick Hanson] – This is the first of two episodes focused on becoming a ‘great relater.’
Extensions of Attachment Theory
- John Gottman and Brené Brown on Running Headlong Into Heartbreak [The Gottman Institute] – The Gottmans and Brené Brown give us a map—a macro perspective of the wilderness of our hearts, and the wildness of love.
- How to Stop Detached Dating and Create Real Connection [The Gottman Institute] – Tips for dating in a more meaningful way.
- How to Avoid the Pursuer-Distancer Pattern in Your Relationship [The Gottman Institute] – Intimacy and independence require each other to make a whole.
- Gottman Relationship Recipes [The Gottman Institute] – Try these relationship recipes out at home—you probably already have all the ingredients you need!
- John Gottman, The 5 Types of Couples [The Gottman Institute] – Are you one of the happy couple types?
- Dating After a Breakup [The Gottman Institute] – Certified Gottman Therapist and Master Trainer Stacy Hubbard offers tips for “getting back out there.”
- Emotional Attunement [The Gottman Institute] – It is impossible to nurture healthy relational dynamics without practicing attunement.
- Neutrality is Invalidation [The Gottman Institute] – Invalidation is a form of relational trauma which, over time, harms the brain and nervous system, and also results in the disintegration of any healthy bonds of connection, and dissolution of trust in others.
Attachment Theory in Daily Life
- The 4 ‘Attachment Styles,’ and How They Sabotage Your Work-Life Balance [NY Times] – Our subconscious programming — developed through our youth and on into adulthood — plays a huge role in how we survive or thrive at work. Here’s how your “attachment style” may affect your office relationships.
- How I Learned to Need People (the Hard Way) [Greater Good] – When work is all that matters, discovered Kira Newman, things can get a little lonely.
- How your parents may have shaped the way you act at work [BBC] – Your parents have affected many things about your development – potentially including how you relate to colleagues in office.
- How Early Attachment Styles Can Influence Later Relationships [The Gottman Institute] – There are more layers and complexities to contemporary attachment theory, but for the moment, let’s just say there are four main attachment styles — secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure-anxious and disorganized.
- Protect Yourself from Emotional Contagion [Psychology Today] – Whether it’s joy or anger, we’re wired to catch and spread emotions. But with a little awareness, we can inoculate ourselves against too many negative ones.
Personal Reflection on your Attachment
- Discovering Your Attachment Style [Rick Hanson] – In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Jennie Rosier explore what attachment theory is, how we can identify our attachment style, and what we can do to build a healthier relationship with our own style and that of others.
Avoidant Attachment
Ambivalent Attachment
- The Adult Attachment Series: On Being Anxious Preoccupied [Relationships Love Happiness] – This 3-part series provides in-depth explanations of each of the three insecure adult attachment styles. Part one of this series is about Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment.
- One Way Your Partner Can Calm Your Attachment Anxiety [Greater Good] – A new study suggests that a grateful partner can help heal the wounds of an insecure attachment style.
Disorganized Attachment
Reflections for Shifting Attachment
- How to Change Your Attachment Style [Psych Central]
- How to Change Your Attachment Style [Psychology Today]
- How To Rewire Your Brain To Have A Secure Attachment Style [Mind Body Green]
- Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts [Life Hack]
- Can You Cultivate a More Secure Attachment Style? [Greater Good]
- Can Unloved Children Learn To Love? [The Atlantic]
Parenting with Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory Specifically
- Building Secure Infant Attachment: REACTing in 5 Easy Steps [Relationships Love Happiness]
- How to Cultivate a Secure Attachment with Your Child [Greater Good]
- Why Attachment Parenting Is Not the Same as Secure… [Greater Good]
- Adolescent-parent attachment: Bonds that support healthy development [National Library of Medicine]
Extensions of Attachment Theory
- Children Learn What They Live [Psychology Today] – This wise poem inspires good parenting and work with children.
- Five Childhood Experiences That Lead to a More Purposeful Life [Greater Good] – Research suggests that our paths to finding purpose can be shaped by early childhood experiences.
- Turn Toward Your Child to Nurture Intimacy [The Gottman Institute] – Intimacy is the glue that holds families together. It’s what connects us over the years and across the miles.
- Scientists Find 3 Ways a Mother’s Support Benefits Her Kids Over a Lifetime [Get Pocket] – Her influence lasts long after her kids are grown.
General Attachment Theory Links
Attachment Theory Specifically
- Attachment Theory [Mark Manson] – A great deal of your success in relationships—or lack thereof—can be explained by how you learned to relate to others throughout your childhood as well as later in life.
- Which of These Four Attachment Styles Is Yours? [Quick and Dirty Tips] – Your attachment style is formed early in life, and now it affects your adult relationships. Do you see yourself in one of these profiles?
Extensions of Attachment Theory
- Landmark study on 11,196 couples pinpoints what dating apps get so wrong [Inverse] – It suggests that the person we choose is not nearly as important as the relationship we build.
Books
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind – and Keep – Love
The Attachment Theory Workbook: Powerful Tools to Promote Understanding, Increase Stability, and Build Lasting Relationships
Attachment: 60 Trauma-Informed Assessment and Treatment Interventions Across the Lifespan
Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families
Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
Strange Situation: A Mother’s Journey into the Science of Attachment
Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life
Theories of Attachment: An Introduction to Bowlby, Ainsworth, Gerber, Brazelton, Kennell, and Klause
Attachment Quizzes
Videos
Meeting Your Partner in The Middle
Dating When You’ve Had a Bad Childhood
How Your Childhood Affects Your Love Styles
