NVC Resources

This page will provide a healthy selection of curated external resources relating to Compassionate Communication.

On this Page:

This page has many resources…

If you want the “TL;DR“, these are a handful of our favorite resources on this page:

The Book – If you haven’t by now, grab Marshall Rosenburg’s book, Nonviolent Communication.
NVC Communicator – a fun web app to help you create NVC statements!
SoundsTrue NVC Course – This is Marshall Rosenberg’s only online course, finished shortly before he passed away in 2015.

Learning NVC

Fast Facts: Wikipedia: NVC (~8 minutes)
NVC Practice Podcast – (Audio library) – 42 episodes on topics from mentorship to BDSM to Bystander interventions.
What Every Person Should Know About War – (Article – 10 minutes) – Overview of the pervasiveness of War
Blackbelt NVC Skills – Deep Basics – An at-home NVC course for purchase, from Cascadia Workshops
https://anvc.svenhartenstein.de/en/1/ – Fun NVC-related cartoons
Basic Pitfalls of Using NVC – (article 10 min) – If you have the language down, but not the spirit behind it, beware…
Seven Keys to Increase Empathy – (podcast 1hr) – Helen Reiss, pyschology professor from Harvard, gives some basic-put-powerful tips.
NVC Communicator – a fun web app to help you create NVC statements!
The Magic of NVC Dancefloors (video 12 min) – See it in action!

Understanding Ourselves

Why We Do What We Do – (Article – 15 minutes) – Distinguishes the sometimes hard differentiation between us pursuing our core needs and following wanted motivations.
Just One Thing: Hold Wants Lightly – (Article – 7 min) – We can avoid some pain, suffering, and frustration if we change the way we relate to our desires.
Six Habits of Highly Compassionate People (article – 10 min) –  Compassion can be thought of as a mental state or an orientation towards suffering (your own or others’) that includes four components…
Can You Be Trained to Be More Compassionate (Article – 7 min) – The answer so far seems to be yes, but there is a lot we still don’t know about compassion training.
Understanding Must Precede Advice (article-10 min) – In every close relationship there is the potential to share all emotions in their raw, ugly beauty, and, through that sharing, the opportunity to connect more deeply with your partner.
Trigger Translation Journal (article-10 min) – ‘A gift that keeps giving’. Keeping a journal to track/observe/dissect triggers, feelings, needs.

Self-Empathy, Care, Compassion

Saying No Without Saying No – (Article – 10 minutes) – How to connect and convey care without saying Yes to requests. Rather, separating strategy from need and opening the dialogue wider.
Your Daily Cup of Empathy – (Video Library – 21 videos – 3-12 minutes/video) – A wide variety of videos about the self-empathy step and videos for those looking to integrate NVC to their lives
Five Ways to Put Self Compassion Into Therapy – (Article 10 minutes) – Outlines five ways to foster self compassion in others and in ourselves.
Why Self Compassion Works Better than Self Esteem –  (Article 10 minutes) – The difference between the two and why compassion is more suited to help you maintain joy and balance.
Diversity of Emotions – This article by Mark Manson about the limits of happiness contains an insightful part of emotional diversity toward the end.
Self-Compassion Exercises and Guided Meditations – By Dr. Kristin Neff, a prolific writer
Blame, Responsibility, and Care – An article from The Fearless Heart on creating our own experience.

Leadership and Work

Practicing Empathic Listening for Leaders – (Article – 10 minutes) – Reflection on the culturally underrated skill of listening, and how to strengthen your ability to listen empathically to others.
Leadership is About Emotion – (Article – 5 Minutes) – “Too many people think leadership is about control. In fact, great leaders inspire and then get out of the way.” How else does emotion support strong leadership?
How to say no (article – 5 minutes) Putting a ‘yes’ into our no’s is a helpful key toward compassionate communication.

Restorative Justice and NVC in Social Change

Beyond Good and Evil – (Interview – 10 pages) – captures the spirit of restorative justice and applying NVC to social change in the world we live in
Top 10 Things to Think About if you Want to Change the World – (Article – 3 pgs) – Some motivational and philosophical thoughts about social change through non-violent principles.
CNVC Process for a New Future Project – (Project Overview with links) – Overviews CNVC’s 4 phase plan to spread NVC in society
Why Personal Liberation Alone Isn’t Enough (article – 10min) – Wishing for a better world, work on self in group!

Organizations

Center for NVC: Organization Website – Has home, about, connect, and training tabs that offer insight into the extensiveness of NVC
Ghandi Institute – Organization aimed to teach non-violence in many facets, from education to speech to environment, to race. Has blogs, scholarships, volunteering, internships, and more.
The Fearless Heart – A Bay Area NVC Organization focused around the vision of Miki Kashtan. Has NVC trainings, blogs, store, volunteer opportunities, and a resource library
Street Giraffe –  practice resources focused on naturalizing NVC
Seven Cups – 7 Cups connects you to caring listeners for free emotional support
Empathy Circles – This site shares a fun project of radical public empathy and gives opportunities for getting involved.
Connection Central – a place to find the latest work from NVC Trainers.
NVC Educators Institute – Offering workshops for NVC education every year in Wisconsin.

Culture of Peace: NVC in Schools

The following is a film (in 5 parts) about NVC being used in school in Denmark. It’s fascinating to see the application and breakdown for this philosophy in-use with young minds.

Film 1 https://youtu.be/GTeQbzys3tw Culture of Peace in school with NVC – Behind every action there is a need
Film 2 http://youtu.be/OyGEL7X9KD8  Culture of Peace in school with NVC – From conflict to connection, the four elements
Film 3 https://youtu.be/6FGtVaSti4M   Culture of Peace in school with NVC – Taking responsibility for my own feelings
Film 4 https://youtu.be/d61KcCM7Ufw   Culture of Peace in school with NVC – Empathy for others, understanding others
Film 5 https://youtu.be/4PU9kItJQ40   Culture of Peace in school with NVC – From anger to empathy, Mona and Mohammed

In the film, you can see teachers using illustrated feelings and needs cards, which can be purchased in English here.

Books

Marshall Rosenberg’s original landmark work. The foundation of the movement.

Aptly titled: Feelings Buried Alive Never Die. This book helps you communicate your feelings peacefully in order not to repress them.

Seven Neuroscience-Based Keys for Transforming the Way We Live, Love, Work, and Connect Across Differences

Marshall Rosenberg’s guide to Relationships.

Another book by Marshall Rosenberg, Living NVC give pragmatic tips for communication.

A short book by Rosenberg on being a voice of peace in a world of conflict.

This is Rosenberg’s book on parenting with NVC.

Rosenberg’s short book focused on NVC and conflict, highlighting the dangers of ‘compromise.’

This book by Oren Jay Sofer is one of the best-selling on the topic of NVC. It helps the reader understand the power of NVC as a tool to understand what we really want/need and how to communicate it.

Videos

The Basics of Non-Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg (3 hrs)

Marshall Rosenberg demonstrates NVC (11 min)

NVC in action (4 min) – an illustrative role-play

How Enlightened Families Argue (3 min) – A hilarious take on transparency of emotions

The Importance of Empathy in Everyday Life (3.5 min) – Well-animated video of how to strengthen our empathic skills by being observant, actively listening, and opening up.

An Interview Introduction with the Founder of NVC (11 min)

A Sparknotes-style Presentation on NVC (12 min) from Brian Johnson at Optimize.me

The Power of Outrospection (10.5 min) – Introspection is out, and outrospection is in. Philosopher and author Roman Krznaric explains how we can help drive social change by stepping outside ourselves.

Brene Brown on Empathy (3 min) – What is the best way to ease someone’s pain and suffering? In this beautifully animated RSA Short, Dr Brené Brown reminds us that we can only create a genuine empathic connection if we are brave enough to really get in touch with our own fragilities.

Vulnerable Honesty – Yoram Mosenzon (13 min) – In this funny, personal, and honest look at the way we as humans approach communication, Yoram Mosenzon teaches us the difference between true honesty, and what weoften think is honesty and try to hide.

It’s Not About the Nail ( 2 min) – “Don’t try to fix it. I just need you to listen.” Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.

The Power of Vulnerability – Brene Brown (21 min) – In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity

Parenting with NVC (5.5 min) – A silly, animated video showing NVC in-action with a parent responding to “I want to play video games!”

Stop it! (6 min) – a funny video showing what the very opposite of empathic listening might look like.

Feel Feelings Through to Completion (4.5 min) – Tips on feeling your feelings from Conscious Leadership

Quotes

On the Value of NVC:
“As far as nonviolence and spiritual activism, Marshall Rosenberg is it! Applying the concepts within these books will guide the reader toward fostering more compassion in the world.” —MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, Everyday Grace and honorary chairperson, Peace Alliance
“Nonviolent Communication is one of the most useful processes you will ever learn.” —WILLIAM URY, Getting to Yes
“Nonviolent Communication can change the world. More importantly, it can change your life. I cannot recommend it highly enough.” —JACK CANFIELD, Chicken Soup for the Soul Series
“Dr. Rosenberg has brought the simplicity of successful communication into the foreground. No matter what issue you’re facing, his strategies for communicating with others will set you up to win every time.” —TONY ROBBINS, Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power
Related Quotes:

“Nonviolence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our being.” –Mahatma Gandhi

“The essence of all spiritual life is your emotion, your attitude toward others. Once you have pure and sincere motivation, all the rest follows. You can develop this right attitude toward others on the basis of kindness, love, and respect, and on the clear realization of the oneness of all human beings.” ― Dalai Lama

“No matter what issue you’re facing, NVC will set you up to win every time.” ― Anthony Robbins, author, Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power

“NVC is one of the most useful processes you will ever learn.” ― William Ury, author, Getting to Yes

“NVC can change the world. More importantly, it can change your life.” ― Jack Canfield, author, Chicken Soup for the Soul

“NVC can transform potential conflicts into peaceful dialogues.” ― John Gray, author, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

“NVC will guide the reader towards fostering more compassion in the world.” ― Marianne Williamson, author, Everyday Grace

“I believe the principles and techniques in Nonviolent Communication can literally change the world, but more importantly, they can change the quality of your life with your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers and everyone else you interact with. I cannot recommend it highly enough.” ― Jack Canfield, author, Chicken Soup for the Soul Series

“Marshall Rosenberg provides us with the most effective tools to foster health and relationships. Nonviolent Communication connects soul to soul, creating a lot of healing. It is the missing element in what we do.” ― Deepak Chopra, author, How to Know God and Ageless Body and Timeless Mind

“People are always making the best choices they are currently capable of” -Anonymous

“When someone is angry or hurt, they can turn inward, outward, or cope; those are the options.” – Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

“After the final no is a yes, and the fate of the world rests in that yes.” Wallace Stevens

“When language fails it is replaced by violence, violence then becomes a language.” Elie Wiesel

“Speak Peace is a book that comes at an appropriate time when anger and violence dominates human attitudes. Marshall Rosenberg gives us the means to create peace through our speech and communication. A brilliant book.” ― Arun Gandhi, president, MK Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence

“Love is the absence of judgment.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

“Of all the parts of your body, be most vigilant over your index finger, for it is blame-thirsty. A pointed finger is a victim’s logo.” ― Joseph Brodsky

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.”― Martin Luther King Jr

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”

“NVC is an awareness discipline masquerading as a communication process.”

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it “- Rumi

Mother Teresa said, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that We Belong to Each Other.”

“Feelings buried alive never die” – a book by Karol Truman

“When people need empathy the most, they are likely to ask for it in a way they are least likely to receive it.” – Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

You can’t shake hands with a closed fist. -Indira Gandhi

While nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer, nothing is more difficult than to understand him. Fyodor Dostoevsky

“When people need empathy the most, they are likely to ask for it in a way they are least likely to receive it.” – Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. Buddha.

Malice drinks one-half of its poison. Seneca.

A merely fallen enemy may rise again, but the reconciled one is truly vanquished. Friedrich Schiller.

“When the power of love exceeds the love of power, we will have peace on earth.”

“People try nonviolence for a week, and when it does not work, they go back to violence, which hasn’t worked for centuries.” Theodore Roszak

And here are even more quotes, organized by their citations in various social media. May ye never again be short on inspiring NVC-related quotes!