By displaying loss in all of its painful iterations, we hope that readers will see that loss is a common, shared experience, and that each one connects to a deep place within us that loves and wants to be loved.
Next time you walk out in the world, consider the losses people around you are carrying and know that you are not alone. Loss is as human as breathing (and recall that each breath carries with it a loss of CO2, which allows for more life-giving oxygen to flow in).
Below is a comprehensive list of losses and their associated secondary losses.
We believe looking at these connections will be eye-opening for many people. Please give things a look, and don’t hesitate to tell us what you think.
We would also be interested in any additions you may have.
Loss of…
| Belonging | Financial Stability | Partner |
| Caretaker | Future | Predictability |
| Caretaking Role | Home | Role |
| Companion | Hope | Safety |
| Compass | Intimacy | Secret-Keeper |
| Connection to Past | Legacy | Self-Image |
| Familiarity | Memory | Social Status |
| Normalcy | Visibility | |
| Nurturance |
| Belonging | Connection to Past | Innocence |
| Caretaker | Culture | Intimacy |
| Caretaking Role | Familiarity | Memory |
| Companion | Financial Stability | Normalcy |
| Compass | History/Ancestry | Nurturance |
| Home | Role | |
| Safety |
| Caretaking Role | Home | Predictability |
| Companion | Hope | Purpose |
| Competency | Intimacy | Role |
| Familiarity | Legacy |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Future | Normalcy | Social Status |
| Visibility |
| Belonging | Connection to Past | Normalcy |
| Caretaker | Familiarity | Partner |
| Caretaking Role | Future | Role |
| Companion | History/Ancestry | Secret-Keeper |
| Compass | Home |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Intimacy | Memory |
| Belonging | Connection to Past | Intimacy |
| Caretaker | Culture | Memory |
| Caretaking Role | Familiarity | Normalcy |
| Companion | History/Ancestry | Nurturance |
| Compass | Home | Role |
| Secret-Keeper |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Normalcy | Safety |
| Caretaking Role | Public Acknowledgement **These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
Self-Image |
| Energy/Stamina | Purpose |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Future | Role | Sexual Freedom |
| Hope | Social Status | |
| Legacy | Visibility |
| Belonging | Familiarity | Normalcy |
| Caretaking Role | Future | Partner |
| Companion | Home |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Compass | Intimacy | Role |
| Connection to Past | Memory | Secret-Keeper |
| Activity | Home |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Caretaking Role | Intimacy | Role |
| Companion | Memory | Secret-Keeper |
| Familiarity | Normalcy | Visibility |
| Future | Partner |
| Belonging | Nurturance | Secret-Keeper |
| Compass | Public Acknowledgement **These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
Values |
| Intimacy | Purpose | Visibility |
| Memory | Safety |
| Belonging | Future |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Companion | History/Ancestry | Role |
| Compass | Home | Secret-Keeper |
| Connection to Past | Intimacy |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Familiarity | Memory | Visibility |
| Bodily Autonomy | Future | Purpose |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Home | Respect |
| Caretaking Role | Hope | Role |
| Competency | Independence | Safety |
| Control | Legacy | Self-Image |
| Ease | Normalcy | Social Status |
|
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Connection to Past | Future | Predictability |
| Control | History/Ancestry | Purpose |
| Ease | Hope | Self-Image |
| Familiarity | Innocence | Values |
| Freedom | Normalcy |
| Belonging | Future | Predictability |
| Compass | History/Ancestry |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Control | Home | Purpose |
| Culture | Hope | Respect |
| Ease | Innocence | Safety |
| Familiarity | Legacy | Self-Image |
| Freedom | Memory | Social Status |
| Normalcy | Values |
| Activity | Freedom | Presence |
| Bodily Autonomy | Future |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Hope | Respect |
| Competency | Independence | Role |
| Control | Innocence | Safety |
| Ease | Invisibility | Self-Image |
| Energy/Stamina | Normalcy | Sexual Freedom |
| Familiarity | Predictability | Social Status |
|
Financial Stability
|
Visibility |
| Bodily Autonomy | Freedom | Predictability |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Future |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Competency | Independence | Respect |
| Control | Invisibility | Role |
| Ease | Normalcy | Safety |
| Energy/Stamina | Financial Stability | Self-Image |
| Familiarity | Visibility | Social Status |
| Bodily Autonomy | Hope | Predictability |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Independence | Presence |
| Control | Innocence |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Ease | Intimacy | Respect |
| Energy/Stamina | Memory | Safety |
| Familiarity | Normalcy | Self-Image |
| Freedom | Nurturance |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Future | Visibility |
| Activity | Future | Presence |
| Belonging | Hope |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Bodily Autonomy | Independence | Respect |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Innocence | Safety |
| Competency | Intimacy | Self-Image |
| Control | Invisibility |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Ease | Memory | Sexual Freedom |
| Energy/Stamina | Normalcy | Social Status |
| Familiarity | Nurturance | Visibility |
| Freedom | Predictability |
| Belonging | Future | Memory |
| Connection to Past | History/Ancestry | Normalcy |
| Control | Home | Predictability |
| Culture | Language |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Familiarity | Legacy |
| Belonging | Home | Purpose |
| Bodily Autonomy | Hope | Respect |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Independence | Safety |
| Connection to Past | Innocence | Self-Image |
| Control | Invisibility |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Culture | Language | Sexual Freedom |
| Ease | Legacy | Social Status |
| Familiarity | Memory | Visibility |
| Financial Stability | Normalcy | |
| Freedom | Nurturance | |
| Future | Predictability | |
| History/Ancestry |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Belonging | History/Ancestry | Predictability |
| Bodily Autonomy | Home |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Hope | Purpose |
| Connection to Past | Independence | Respect |
| Control | Innocence | Safety |
| Culture | Invisibility | Self-Image |
| Ease | Language |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Familiarity | Legacy | Sexual Freedom |
| Financial Stability | Memory | Social Status |
| Freedom | Normalcy | Visibility |
| Future | Nurturance |
| Activity | Financial Stability |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Belonging | Freedom | Purpose |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Future | Respect |
| Compass | Independence | Role |
| Competency | Legacy | Safety |
| Control | Normalcy | Self-Image |
| Familiarity | Predictability | Social Status |
| Belonging | Future | Partner |
| Caretaker | Home | Predictability |
| Caretaking Role | Hope | Role |
| Companion | Intimacy | Secret-Keeper |
| Compass | Legacy | Self-Image |
| Connection to Past | Memory |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Control | Normalcy | Social Status |
| Familiarity | Nurturance | Visibility |
|
Financial Stability
|
| Activity | Financial Stability | Role |
| Belonging | Normalcy | Self-Image |
| Compass | Predictability | Social Status |
| Competency | Purpose | Visibility |
| Familiarity |
| Activity | Familiarity | Role |
| Belonging | Normalcy | Self-Image |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Predictability | Social Status |
| Competency | Purpose |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Financial Stability | Predictability |
| Competency | Future |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Control | Hope | Secret-Keeper |
| Ease | Independence | Social Status |
| Familiarity | Normalcy | Visibility |
| Nurturance |
| Belonging | Home |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Bodily Autonomy | Hope | Respect |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Independence | Safety |
| Connection to Past | Innocence | Self-Image |
| Control | Intimacy |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Ease | Memory | Sexual Freedom |
| Energy/Stamina | Normalcy | Values |
| Familiarity | Nurturance | Visibility |
| Freedom | Predictability | |
| Presence |
| Belonging | Home |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Compass | Intimacy | Respect |
| Connection to Past | Legacy | Role |
| Familiarity | Normalcy |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Future | Nurturance | Visibility |
| History/Ancestry |
| Activity | Financial Stability | Normalcy |
| Bodily Autonomy | Freedom | Nurturance |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Future | Predictability |
| Caretaking Role | History/Ancestry | Presence |
| Compass | Home | Respect |
| Competency | Hope | Role |
| Connection to Past | Independence | Safety |
| Control | Intimacy | Self-Image |
| Ease | Legacy |
Sense of Stability in Others (from watching others grieve)
|
| Energy/Stamina | Memory | Social Status |
| Familiarity |
| Connection to Past | Home | Normalcy |
| Familiarity | Legacy | Predictability |
| History/Ancestry | Memory |
Public Acknowledgement
**These losses are not publically acknowledged regularly |
| Bodily Autonomy | Freedom | Presence |
| Carelessness/Whimsy | Home | Role |
| Caretaking Role | Independence | Safety |
| Control | Innocence | Sexual Freedom |
| Ease | Normalcy | Visibility |
| Familiarity | Predictability |
Financial Stability
|
Remember, Loss is Normal, loss takes many forms, and Grief is okay.